“Be My Servant,” God Shouted

Dreaming big dreams is no problem for me. I would love to be a bestselling author of Christian living books and Bible studies. I would love to travel and speak all over the U.S. (and the world!), sharing God’s Word with humor, wisdom, and deep insight. If you’ve ever been to Women of Faith, those women you see on stage… I want to be them.

My dreams are big, but until this week, they’ve also been private. Truthfully, it took a long time to even admit them to myself because it seemed ridiculous to even imagine them coming true. This week, I articulated these dreams for the first time.

It was a big step. It felt like I had released a secret, and it felt good.

But it also got me shouted at by God.

You see, for the first time, I can actually see some seeds of the possibility of my dreams coming true. They are tiny seeds, of the mustard variety, but they are there. I wrote a Bible study specifically for working women to use in the workplace, then I taught it at work. Then I taught it on Wednesday nights to the women of my church. It went well. Really well, I think.

But what’s next? If I want to publish my Bible study, everyone says I need a “platform.” How can I have a “platform” without a website, without a consistent blog, without a public person Facebook page, without a dedicated Twitter account, without speaking more broadly than just my church, without writing for more publications, etc., etc., etc.?!

So, I do what I always do when my brain is on overdrive and can’t figure out a solution — I went to my husband and poured it all out to him.

His response (and I paraphrase…sort of): “You don’t have the time right now to travel and speak, or do all the things a “platform” will require. You’re number one job is our three children. If the Lord wants all the other to happen, He’ll make it happen in His timing. Just bloom where you’re planted.” (OK, he didn’t say that last line, but that was the gist of what he was saying.)

What he said hit home. I fought back tears as he said it because it touched something deep within, and my spirit confirmed everything he said was right.

God spoke to me through my husband. But he wasn’t finished.

One of the big names I follow on FB (it was either Joyce Meyer or Tony Evans) posted, “God isn’t looking for celebrities, He’s looking for servants.”

My heart almost hurt reading this. I want to be His servant, I really do, but servanthood hasn’t been my focus lately. It’s been how to get my stuff and my name out there. God spoke to me again through this post, reminding me to return to a servant’s heart.

But He wasn’t finished.

Catalyst is happening this week, wherein several big wigs in Christian circles dispense wisdom to large crowds of hipsters. (Or at least that’s what it looks like from the photos.) I happen to like several of these big wigs, so I read live tweets from attendees periodically throughout the day. Here’s what they were tweeting:

And then this one:

Starting to agree with me that He’s shouting? Ha!

But He wasn’t finished.

Today, on Women Living Well, Courtney Joseph shared that although she has a new book coming out, and many other awesome things in the works, the best part of her year happened this past Sunday when her kids were baptized. She told this story about Kay Arthur:

I remember listening to Kay Arthur, one of my favorite Bible Study authors, speak about her son who is not walking with the Lord. She said that often young people line up to talk to her after speaking events. She has published over 10 million books and has been translated into 30 different languages. Her ministry touches millions around the world –and yet she suffers from the deep pain of knowing her own son is not in that line of people smiling and hugging her.

Yes, Lord, I hear You. If You did ever choose to use me in the same way You have used Kay, I do not want it to be at the expense of my child. (Not saying that’s what happened with Kay’s son, since I have no idea at all of the backstory, but I’m saying it could happen with me.)

But He wasn’t finished.

Twice today, this scripture has popped up in things I’ve read:

Colossians 3:17,24-25, “And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him . . .Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ.”

It’s so clear to me. He’s shouting, “Be My servant. Raise the children I’ve blessed you with to the best of your ability. Do all for Me, not for people, and I will give you an inheritance.”

Yes, Lord. I’m listening.


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